That Voice

I just needed to write something new... Trying to feel a little less alone... Eeven if I know nobdy's reading it...

Sometimes I wonder...
Why the fuck do I have a head,
Why the fuck do I have a conscience?
"Go ahead..."
When all it does is to piss me off,
To tell me how absurd I am,
How distorted my reality seems,
How unworthy to live I am...

"Do you have the balls?"
Sometimes I feel like I should be dead...
Oh how I feel like dying...
I need to die... soon...
"Of course you don't..."
This life is made only for the strongest,
The fittest...
Not such aberrations like me...

If you caN't make it just kill yourself
"You're such a weakling..."
Do the world a favor, kill yourself...

Why am I not healing,
"For fuck sake, just end it..."
If I thought almost everything
Was going fine now...

I just can't change some things...
I can't change the way I act,
"Poor fool, finish what you started..."
I can't change the way I look at you,
I can't change my fucking self...

I don't feel like I belong here,
"It will sooner or later consume you..."
I don't feel I should be here,
"you're here to justify the stronger ones..."
I just feel like bleeding to death...

Yes, it bleeds...
"The world doesn't need your absurd whining..."
My heart keeps bleeding...

I'll just burn it,
Hope it ends all this,
"What are you waiting for?"
JUST SHUT THE FUCK UP
Hope I can even write a good fucking thing,
Instead of whining about how I can't be a damn normal human being...

I feel so alone, so small...
"Asyou always were... smaller than an insect..."

I wish the warm flesh could lend me its secrets now...
I need it to...
"As you always were... haha, so worthless that it's even a shame..."
I'm so full that I'm almost blowing up...

It can't go on like this...
I must do something...
"FUCKING DO IT YOU PIECE OF TRASH!"
LEAVE ME FUCKING ALONE
The easiest way was always my way, and so it shall continue to be...

Why can't I just kill myself and end all this?...

I thought if I'd write it down i'd feel better...
"You'll feel better when you do it..."
Well I don't... What am I supposed to do?...

Why can't it be all superficial?...
All the wounds...
Why can't the odds hide themselves behind the mist?...

I feel dead...
"You are so... You just don't know it yet..."
I feel too dead to die...

Why can't I just kill myself and end all this?...

Pain and suffering walks your path along with you...
Until the end...
"You want it..."